HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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