i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
