For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
