I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
