dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
