I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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