he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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