I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
