i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
