I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
