I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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