don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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