he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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