Where is the hickey?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
