She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
