as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
