Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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