Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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