Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
