It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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