its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
