Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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