And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
