Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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