So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
