I'm eating all of the evidence.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
