What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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