I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
