I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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