Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
