Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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