College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
