Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
