Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
