a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
