Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
