I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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