the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
