My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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