some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
