therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
