DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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