Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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