My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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