i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
