I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
