That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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