Umm I'm too high to move.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
