What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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