Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
