we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
