he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
