There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
