Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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