Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
